A continuation of my incomplete journal..(=

Day 6

Todays, we brought some of the children from Bo Ai who can walk around without much effort to the park to hae some fun and basically, let them experience the outside world as they seldom get the chance to go out. I was with this boy called qian2 zhen1; he was the one whom I was teaching Math 2 days ago. I was so glad he could still remember me! though i only spent like an hour or so with him +) He was extremely hyperactive and clever but would listen to me when I told him to not do this and that (such as plucking the flowers from the bushes or running around near the road). To me, he is already obedient enough, though at times he maybe a bit cheeky XD. SG children would not be as obedient, I guess.

We played musical ball, sang songs together with them, played caterpillar and flew kite with the children. I can really see the genuine joy from the children though we have very few games/activities for them to participate; maybe, they really had not had such fun for a long time. Being 'shut' in the school all day must have been a torture for them, though it's not a choice for them to make. Yet we, normal people, do not really feel a thing when we get to go out almost everyday (or everyday for some people). Qian2 zhen1 was especially over-the-moon when playing with the kite. He would 'caress' (really stroke it!) the kite as if it's his precious little one amd would scream with joy for the slightest moment when the kite flies up by a tiny bit. In addition to this, qian2 zhen1 is also a very caring friend/elder 'ge ge' to his fellow friends/schoolmates. Whenever other younger children cries or is unhappy whatsoever, he would go over to them and 'sayang' them and hug and kiss them on their hands. At such a young age (he's older than pri one but is now studying p1's work), he already knew how to show concern for friends around him and be serious at the right times. He's also easily satisfied and obedient only when required. I found that kite-flying is actually a very tiring activity though it is fun when the wind keeps blowing and the kite keeps staying high; waiting for the wind to come can be quite ...=X

I'm only very unhappy with hong lao shi (the VP). No matter what we planned, she is always dissatisfied with us and always shine us the 'you are useless' look. She's like the first person in China to despise us can. She's not even fit to make us feel so can. I personally feel that she's not doing anything much as a VP; the way she takes care of the children is like so half-heartedly.

Enough of her, don't want her to spoil my mood. Anw, the leaders called for an informal meeting after lunch as both teachers were away from school and hence it would be easier to talk. We wanted to settle the rising tension within the serve team. The problem may not seem seem obvious (if one ain't observant enough) but it's definitely causing some silent rebel. Apparently, many of the team mates are unhappy with the way the leader (denise) and assistant leader (kaixin) allocate tasks to us. They (or we) feel that the both of them always give the 'you think you are so good' look and their body language (such as the way they sit during meetings; folding arms) that made the leaders annoying. Almost everyone seemed to object whatever they say or allocate during meetings and were not agreeable to tasks allocated to them. But things are usually like this; whenever one is a leader, everyone else has something to say, no matter how great a leader he or she is. maybe it's just the human mindset of being jealous, such as why he or she can be but not me? But I'm glad all has been well now; kaixin was like so sad for the past few days because the rest of the people seemed to treat her like she's suffering from some epidermic. many of them were reserved to voice out their unhappiness at first, bu after the 'ice was broken' by Alvin, we managed to hear their frustrations and opinions on how the leaders should be more tactful. I understand why they feel so, because I feel so too at times (but I'm more of the neutral kind as I've known kaixin for close to a year). LOL, I seem so contradictory.

The past few days may seem uneasy, but I am glad I had made so many friends along the journey. It was really fate that brought the serve team together; that enabled the six of us to 'clique' so well together admist the tension and all (=

By the way, I forgot to mention earlier that I hope that all the children in the school should get a chance to go to the park and play. We shouldn't isolate them just because they are physically disabled (not referring to only those mild ones). Everyone should be given equal opportunity; no matter how difficult it is to bring them out, we have to try no matter what. I'm already in the sleep mode while writing this now. We'll be going Du Su Hu (Su zhou's university) tomorrow and then a few hours of shopping in su zhou followed by a 'surprise' birthday party for Kaixin. Here's wishing her a 18th birthday and may all be smooth-going for her tomorrow =D

Day 7

What a great day today! Firstly, it's my buddy (KX)'s 18th bash! she's now legal HOHOHO XD Secondly, it was great expanding our social circle at the Du Su Hu university. Anw, they don't really call it university, it's actually Du Su Hu Gao Deng Jiao Yu Qu. I said university to cut things short; i'm lazy. gee =X We also shopped at this place called dono what guan (I don't really remember the Chinese street names u know, just blindly follow the rest; it's bad I know) The tension is officially gone now! YEA! =D

The public bus journey to the university was not a pleasant one. All along, while taking the public bus(es) in China, I've experienced it --- people pushing and elbowing their way through or into the (jam-packed) bus. I've seen s'poreans squeezing up the bus but pushing one another is a rare sight. Or maybe there is but I've not seen before? =X I feel that s'poreans are more polite and considerate in this manner (the Chinese should learn from us HAHA) When we reached the university, we were greated warmly by ambassadors of the university. Many of them were quite shy at first but after some time, we (or they) managed to 'break the ice' between usThe culutral presentation in one of the lecture rooms of the library by both sides were rather dry. In te midst of it all one of the ambassadors came to sit beside me and we exchanged the differences between SG's and Su zhou's culture and education system. It was not that tiring talking to him as I had expected as I thought their Chinese accent would be difficult to comprehend and I have to try to keep up with their accent so they would understand me. Anyway he's super tall! i think can compare with my ex-classmate hongyi. should be more than 190m! shall show u people the photo later on. hehehe (= he's a model btw =D We proceeded on to the arts exhibition area as well as the university's gym. Even outside their gym there's this Olympics 2008 statue. so nice! everywhere in China is like so hyped up about Olympics 2008 already! there were like a few shops already opened selling olympics 2008's mascot and shirts! too bad they were too expensive if not i would have bought something back =(

After our lunch (as usual, somewhat like those we had in Bo Ai; there's this Bo Ai smell, maybe it's the saltiness and oily-ness. LOL) we went to visit the students' dormitory. I realised how lucky we are to be able to share our room with only 1 or 2 people at Bo Ai's hostel, unlike the students of the university who had to share a (rather small to me) room among 5 people. Once again, we are lucky =) It was a great exchange, especially getting to know them. One girl named yu bing (she looks so korean/jap-like; kawaii-ne) , told me that they were hosts for the first time; but I feel that they were already good enough =D

The shopping trip wasn't a really enjoyable one. Firstly because we were only given like 2 to 3 hours. Secondly, shopowners were all so hostile. On the contrary, for bigger shops that we went to (such as apparels), there were so many sales assistants (or retail advisors as what some of the SG retail personnels were called) that we were so freaked out. when we enter the shop they greeted us unanimously with the 'deh' voice but their facial expressions kind of turn(or rather, scare) u off. There was this shop where I tried to bargain for a shoe but the lady boss was reluctant. She was rather hostile towards me but luckily, the boss was willing to give me a discount, all thanks to me being so persistent WAKAKKAKA XD There was this funny incident where we went into this shop and had to pretend that we were Southern people so that we will not be cheated of our purchase. By right, we are not from Southern China (we said we are from Guangzhou). By left, we are from the South (SG is South facing China what!) HEHHEHE

The orphanage team went to meet Mrs Koh after dinner to buy goodies for the children. Mrs Koh nearly got knocked down by a motorbike on our way out of the shopping centre to hail a cab. Apparently, she was too careless to notice the motorbike approaching in the opposite (and wrong) direction. By right it's the motorbike's fault. But, in China, the traffic flows in the wrong direction. It's not like SG, where the car looks out for people. In China, it's the people who look out for cars and give way to cars =X From this, I learnt that we really should be more meticulous in whatever to do as we are responsible for bearing the consequences. After our shopping trip, the serve team threw a mini surprise birthday celebration for KX. I am glad she enjoyed herself and also thankful for the entire serve team to be so cooperative despite the conflict they had earlier on (=

To put it in a nutshell, I enjoyed today very much.

Day 8

Yet another day out. Hmm.. have not seen Shu Min for the past one and a half days as she went home with her Mum. I kind of miss her )= Only 2 more days left to bond with her; I must treasure it! (= Tomorrow afternoon we'll be out at the orphanage, so half a day gone, and half a day less of time to spend with her.. Oh wells =( LOL i sound so emo over here. But i guess every who's in the serve team feels it too. No one would understand unless they are here themselves. it's just so normal of a human to feel this way i guess..

We went to a few places (about 4) of interest in China, such as the Tong Li and the silk museum. It was then that I know a little bit about the different dynasties (though till now I'm not even half a tub full -- direct translation from chinese=pPppPpPP) and their living style in their temple-like homes. I also saw how the poor silk worms (in cocoons) are processed to make silk materials (they are boiled to loosen the silk from the cocoon). It's a cruel thing to kill silk worms for such things but well, all of us need (or rather, want) to wear silk and silk worms are our only source.

I would like to compliment the tour guide for her great enthusiasm and 'longevity' in explaining to us the cultural history of China though for most of the time, we were either not listening or could catch no ball of the majority information disseminated from her. What I can say is that she is very passionate about her job and is forgiving enough (as we talked and ignored her while she was explaining; ok, that's quite rude of us).

Before visiting the silk museum (after our lunch), we went to a 'short shopping spree'. I bought a fan for my ah ma, some food for my relatives and accessories for my friends. I feel cheated for a bracelet that I had bought as the difference is almost half in the 2 different shops. It was 10 yuan in the shop I bought but the shopowner gave me 8 yuan. Later on, I saw that another shop sells it at 5 yuan.But at least the shopowners in this vicinity are friendlier relative to the wholesale market place we went to yesterday (=

Day 9

Today will be the second last day spent with the children. Hence, when I finished my BF, I immediately went to find shu min but could not, probably because she was away with her therapy? I was so used to hanging around with her in Bo Ai that I feel so empty w/o her around. it dawned on me how I dearly I will miss her as well as some of the other children whom I'm not as close with (just mere acquaintances). At 10 am, Ai and I found her and we assisted her in her therapy. I find that she's one of the more hardworking and mature children in Bo Ai (besides jing hong and yi teng). Although she's tired, day after day doing the same routine, she never stops. as she knows it's for her own good and she cannot let those who loved and cared for her down, U encouraged her to do 5 more 'sit-ups' before I will bring her out to the halll for the colouring session; sure enough, she was very cooperative. I held her hand (with her marker/crayon in her hand) to colour together with her every part of the picture. She was very relaxed and trusted her hand to 'move' with mine =D

In the afternoon, we visited the orhanage (a very complicated name to which I don't want to name down here). The entire vicinity was a total run-down to me; very much like the '60s and '70s kampong life in SG. I cannot help but think what su zhou's government have done to improve the lives of its citizens. The industrial area of su zhou is a stark contrast of the run-down area around the orphanage although the difference in distance between the two places is only about half an hour by bus. Just half an hour and we see a not-so-pleasant sight of su zhou. The orphanage stood out to me when we arrive at the gates; the exterior designs, such as beautiful paintings of cartoon characters on the walls; the very traditional yet 'posh' gate; the playground that looks so attractive for the children etc. However, how truw to never judge a book by it's cover. The playground looks nice from far but is actually rusty from dono how many months or even years of no one playing it. I was rather taken aback when i enter the room where the orphanages and their teacher are waiting (for us). Firstly, there were only very few children (less than 30; we expected 50 to 100) and they were mostly below ten years of age. Secondly, the teachers were not very active towards joining in with our games and I feel that there are things that they are 'hiding from us'. Why do I (or we) feel so? I can only see a few teachers looking after the children; some were fiddling with their phones. Also, the children also seemed very deprived of food. I would say 'deprived' as when we gave them rewards for performing, they would all join eagerly and gobble up the food as if 'the food will run away from them'. Lastly, we planned quite a few games but have not even finished all of them when the teachers start chasing us off. Not literally, but they were like saying "the children need to eat their dinnre, you can leave now". They do not even accept our offer to volunteer to feed the children or tour around the orphanage. It did occur to me that maybe I (or we), had some biasness in our minds before we visited there, but looking at the situations above, I cannot help but think negatively. We all left there with a heavy heart )=

At night, I was running a fever. Prolly because I caught a chill from yesterday's rain. now I understand why Mrs Koh kept chasing us to sleep before 11pm and dress warmly. My brother suddenly smsed me (after about 8 days), asking me how I am and all. I ddi not mention my fever to him, just told him I had a sore throat (which is true). Just didn't want my mum to worry...Oh well. I miss home )=

Day 10

A very short entry. My last night at Bo Ai. The morning started off pretty normally. We interacted with the children and also prepare ourselves for the finale in the afternoon, such as blowing balloons. Nothing special struck me, except that the thought of leaving the school 9and the children) tomorrow seems to bring back a flow of mixed emotions. I just wonder how the children will be w/o us. Perhaps they will move on normally (not crying and whining for us); perhaps they will pester the nurses/teachers about our whereabouts for maybe say, a week? After which they would prolyl forget us and the next batch coming again next year will take over our roles (or rather, our position in the children's heart).

After lunch, we rehearsed for the dance and then it was time for the finale. The start of the programme has done rather hay-wiredly. Everything just did not flow right at all. That VP seemed displeased again, as usual. She's forever hiding a dagger behind that mocking smile. No matter what it is, she has fixed her opinion of us ever since we entered Bo Ai. There's nothing we can do. I think she's more than happy that we will be leaving soon. I feel that only the dance was nicely done, though we had to re-perform because of 'unintentional' technical accident. However, I was touched that someone appreciated our efforts. The security guard was telling Alan and I how our performance hadn't been a flop and in fact, he thought it was quite touching and he can see our hardwork put in for this finale. He even complimented we s'poreans for our passion in serving the less fortunate, regardless of one's social/financial background; unlike China people. It is true, we did put in a lot of effort and the thought of someone appreciating it more than overwhelmes the fact that someone hates it.

I'm too tired to continue now. I will just save the energy for tomorrwo, cos I know I will ____ . I will miss shu min and qian2 zhen1 real badly, as well as the other children and staff in Bo Ai 9all but the VP)...